I will.

It’s hard to feel pretty. It’s so hard when you try so hard and you are actually destroying the way you look. And depending on where you pull- you may or may not be able to cover it up. I pull right on the top of my head. I wear a bun every day to work to hide it and to prevent myself from pulling and it doesn’t always work. It makes me so sad to get out of the shower, I immediately blow dry my hair and put it up because I can’t stand to see myself looking like that. Even worse—knowing that I did it to myself. I was doing so great. My hair was looking good and was coming in so nicely. Within just a few weeks, I’ve pulled most of the regrowth out and am back to where I started. I’m embarrassed to meet new people. I’m so embarrassed when I go to my boyfriend’s family functions. I’m sure they’ve noticed and probably think I’m some sort of freak. I don’t know how I let myself do this to myself—for 13 years. It seems like a never ending thing. But I want to be done. I want to know that I’ve done everything I can to stop. I can push myself to workout really hard, or to wake up early to get something done, or to get ahead in my classes but I can’t stop this. I’m tired of it. I’m done. I want to feel pretty. I want to feel beautiful. I want to know that I’ve done everything I could to overcome this. I want to overcome this. I will overcome this.