Sometimes I feel defeated..

Every time I go through a pulling spirt, I feel like I become less and less in control. I used to stop pulling by being able to go ONE day without pulling and then I was good for months and months. Lately, it’s been so much harder. I have so much going on that I feel like I can’t get a handle on it. I pulled most of my regrowth out, and I’m very upset about that. It was looking SO good. It was thick and healthy and long and pretty and now it’s gone. Not all of it, but a large chunk of it. It’s hard. I try to be a professional at work and not pull but that’s where I feel like it’s the worst. My boyfriend is very supportive. A few weeks back I started pulling again, I was embarrassed. When I told him I had relapsed, he said he didn’t even notice because he doesn’t see my bald spots when he looks at me. I’m very lucky. I’m working full time and going to school full time. I live in a terrible house with terrible roommates, It’s nowhere near close to being considered a “Home”. I feel like when I have a place that I consider a home (which I have before but I’ve since moved), where I can sit on the couch and watch TV or cook or lounge around in my pajamas, I don’t feel as stressed because I have a relaxed home environment, but not this time around. The past 9 months (which is when I moved in) I’ve pulled the most I ever have in my entire life. It’s easy to become defeated. It’s easy to feel defeated. We all feel it at some point or another, but we’re NOT defeated. We still have some fight left in us, even if we’ve given up. Don’t let this defeat you. You are stronger than your urge (even though it may not feel like it sometimes). It’s not the end, do not give up.