Time to let go..

I was doing so well. SO well. I was proud of myself. My hairdresser was proud of me. My hair was looking GOOD. I felt prettier than I had in a long time. I was starting to feel okay with my boyfriend seeing my hair not in a ponytail or a bun. Then I started a new job, and moved, all within a month. My new job is very stressful and makes me wonder why I ever left my old job. My new house is not my home, and I feel uncomfortable there. Im trying to make it MINE, but it just doesn't feel very homey. I pulled one. I told myself I would stop, that would be the only one. And then I just kept going. It looks like it did a few months ago, nothing new. Back to pulling again. I tried so hard. As I type this, I'm trying to keep my hands off my scalp. I had a rough day, spent most of it sick in bed, and the fact that I know I'm going to get in trouble tomorrow for asking to go home from work early today. I relieve stress this way. I deal with change this way. I hate it. I wish I could do something else. Gardening, running, cooking, yoga... anything else. I've tried just about everything. This Saturday I have an appointment for hypnosis. I've pretty much tried everything else out there. I'm hopeful this will help in some way, shape or form. I'm tired of this. It's getting old. I need to let go.